What to Expect from an Intended/Recipient Parent Consultation
3 minutes
Deciding to pursue third-party reproduction is a life-changing step that often brings a mix of emotions—excitement, hope, uncertainty, and anxiety. As a therapist specializing in fertility and family-building, I offer consultations for intended parents (or recipient parents if you’re planning to use a donor) to help you prepare emotionally and mentally for this unique journey.
Whether you’re planning to use an egg or sperm donor, embryo donation, or a gestational carrier, this consultation offers more than a required step in the process. It’s an opportunity to explore your feelings, address potential concerns, and gain clarity and confidence as you move forward.
Why Do Intended Parents Need a Mental Health Consultation?
Many fertility clinics, following the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) guidelines, require intended parents to meet with a mental health professional as part of the third-party reproduction process. These consultations go beyond simply meeting a requirement—they provide a valuable opportunity to ensure you’re emotionally and relationally prepared for the unique aspects of building your family through this process.
A consultation gives you a chance to:
Assess emotional preparedness for the process.
Gain a deeper understanding of the complexities of third-party reproduction.
Build confidence that you, your donor or gestational carrier, and your care team are on the same page for a successful journey.
What Happens During an Intended Parent Consultation?
During the consultation, I focus on providing guidance, emotional support, and practical tools to help you navigate this process with confidence. Here’s what the consultation typically includes:
1. Emotional Readiness & Education
We start with a discussion about your emotional readiness. This is a safe space to reflect on your feelings about third-party reproduction, address any concerns, and explore important topics, such as:
Communicating effectively with your donor or gestational carrier.
Establishing healthy boundaries and expectations.
Planning how and when to talk to your future child about their origins.
This part of the session also allows you to process any loss, grief, or other emotions that may have surfaced during your fertility journey so far.
2. Tailored Resources
I’ll recommend books, tools, and other resources that are relevant to your specific situation. These materials are designed to help you navigate this process, including ways to disclose your child’s origins in an age-appropriate and supportive manner.
3. Letter to Clinic or Agency
Once the consultation is complete, I will provide a letter if required by your fertility clinic or agency. This document confirms that you have participated in the consultation and received counseling on the emotional and practical aspects of the process.
Why Mental Health Support is Crucial for Intended Parents
The emotional journey of third-party reproduction can feel complex and overwhelming. A consultation can help provide the tools and perspective you need to approach it with clarity and confidence.
1. Exploring Emotional Readiness
Third-party reproduction is a significant step that often involves a range of emotions. This consultation helps you align your decision with your values and ensures you’re prepared for what’s ahead.
2. Addressing Potential Challenges
Together, we’ll identify and discuss any potential psychological or emotional challenges that could arise. By addressing these concerns early, you’ll feel more prepared to navigate the ups and downs of this process.
3. Gaining Knowledge and Tools
The consultation is an opportunity to deepen your understanding of third-party reproduction and how it may impact your family, equipping you with insights and strategies for long-term success.
If you’re considering third-party reproduction and would like support as you move through this process, I’m here to help. Reach out to schedule your consultation or learn more about how this session can prepare you for the road ahead.
