My Friend Betrayed Me—Should I Repair Our Friendship or Cut My Losses?
Below is a summary of the article I contributed to. Read the full article on VeryWellMind
Friendship betrayal can be deeply painful: Betrayal by a trusted friend feels personal, and the emotional fallout can cause feelings of hurt, questioning your relationship, and your self-worth.
Deciding whether to rebuild: Consider the nature and frequency of the betrayal. One-time mistakes, paired with sincere apologies and a change plan, may be worth forgiving. Repeated betrayals without remorse suggest it may be healthier to move on.
Signs to consider rebuilding: It was a one-off mistake, the friend apologizes genuinely, their actions didn't cause lasting harm, and there's a history of positive connection.
Signs to walk away: Frequent betrayals, lack of remorse, one-sided effort, and misaligned values are indicators that ending the friendship might be the better choice.
Understanding friendship dynamics: Friendships, like all relationships, have ups and downs. Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, highlights that human flaws don't define a person’s potential to support you in the future.
Steps to rebuild trust:
Validate your pain: Acknowledge your emotions, and allow yourself to feel the grief that comes with the loss of trust.
Have an honest conversation: Communicate openly about how you were hurt, and allow your friend to apologize. This is essential for rebuilding the friendship, says Goldberg.
Listen to their side: Understanding their perspective can help you heal and assess whether their apology is genuine.
Remind yourself why you were friends: Reflecting on positive memories and shared gratitude can help you decide if the relationship is worth saving.
Forgive them: Genuine forgiveness helps you let go of resentment and sets a foundation for trust moving forward.
Rebuild slowly: Take small steps to reconnect through shared experiences and activities, allowing the friendship to grow gradually.
Takeaway: If both parties are committed to learning from the betrayal and rebuilding trust, friendships can emerge stronger, offering mutual support and connection.
