What to Do When a Friend Triggers Your Eating Disorder

Here’s a summary of this article I contributed to. Read the full article on Her Campus.

Navigating friendships while recovering from an eating disorder can be challenging. Even well-meaning friends may unintentionally trigger disordered thoughts or behaviors. Here’s how to protect your recovery while maintaining healthy relationships:

1. Recognize When a Friendship is Hurting Your Recovery

• If you leave interactions feeling worse, more self-critical, or engaging in disordered behaviors, it’s a sign the friendship may be negatively impacting your progress.

• Watch for subtle triggers, such as constant diet talk, body-shaming comments (even about themselves), or pressure to engage in certain eating behaviors.

• Your recovery should be supported, not undermined, by the people around you.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

• Express your needs by using “I” statements, like: “I’d appreciate it if we could avoid diet talk when we’re together.”

• Choose a calm, private moment to communicate your boundaries.

• It’s okay to be firm—your well-being comes first.

3. Use Coping Strategies in the Moment

• If a friend says something triggering, try responding with: “That’s not a healthy way to look at it, and I see things differently.”

• Practice grounding techniques like deep breathing, leaving the room, or using affirmations to regain focus.

• Over time, identifying triggers can help reduce their power over you.

4. Consider Creating Distance If Needed

• If a friend repeatedly disregards your boundaries or makes you feel invalidated, limiting contact may be necessary.

• “Your recovery is already challenging enough—the more you can minimize triggers, the better,” says eating disorder therapist Rachel Goldberg.

• Letting go of toxic friendships, while difficult, can be essential to prioritizing your healing.

5. Surround Yourself With Support

• Seek out friends, support groups, or professionals who respect your recovery journey.

• Healthy relationships should uplift and validate you, not make you feel unheard or triggered.

• Your healing process deserves respect—choose connections that nurture, rather than hinder, your progress.

Bottom line: Your well-being is the priority. Whether it’s setting firm boundaries or distancing yourself from unsupportive friends, taking care of your mental health is always the right decision.