When a Boundary Feels Bigger Than It Looks
What does it mean to make your home alcohol-free, not as a preference, but as a boundary? A recent article from Fox News spotlighted a 26-year-old woman who made this decision after growing up with a father she describes as a functioning alcoholic. And while the reactions from her family were intense, what struck me most was how clearly this boundary was about creating emotional safety.
When a Boundary Feels Bigger Than It Looks
In my work with clients, I often see this: a small, practical decision, like banning alcohol in your space, holds a much deeper meaning. It says, I won’t keep participating in the chaos I grew up with. It says, I’m allowed to want peace, even if it disrupts the norm.
The article gets this part right. She has the right to define what happens in her home. But what it doesn’t fully name is what comes after - the emotional weight of drawing that line. Guilt. Grief. The fear of being “too much” or “not fun.” The loneliness of being the one who chooses something different.
What Therapy Can Offer
This kind of boundary often shows up in therapy, not just about alcohol, but about all the ways we try to protect ourselves from the patterns we inherited. Therapy can help you explore questions like:
What am I afraid might happen if I hold this line?
Am I allowed to center my needs, even if it means others feel uncomfortable?
How do I grieve the version of my family that can’t meet me here?
There’s no easy answer. But there is power in saying: My peace is not up for negotiation.
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