25 Things Toxic Moms Might Say, According To Experts
Below is a summary of the article I contributed to. Read the full article on VeryWellMind
Gaslighting & Denial: Toxic moms often deny hurtful comments, claiming, “I never said that!” to shift blame and make you doubt your reality.
Invalidation: Phrases like “Why can’t you just get over it?” dismiss your feelings, making you feel unsupported and unheard.
Comparisons: Statements such as “You’re just like your grandmother” are manipulative, aiming to deflect blame and suggest that you are the problem.
Shutting Down: Comments like “You need to grow up and deal with it” are designed to avoid emotional conversations and dismiss concerns.
Blame Shifting: Toxic moms frequently say, “This is your fault,” making you responsible for their actions or behavior.
Keeping Secrets: Asking you to hide things from others, like “Don’t tell your dad...,” creates unhealthy dynamics and stress.
Criticism: Constant negative feedback, such as “Why didn’t you do better?” undermines self-esteem and leads to feelings of inadequacy.
Over-Controlling: Demanding to know your whereabouts or controlling your social life reflects boundary issues, inhibiting your independence.
Guilt Tripping: Manipulative phrases like “You’re my best friend!” or “Why do you always make everything about you?” serve to control or guilt you.
Projection: Toxic moms often accuse their children of being selfish or sensitive, projecting their own issues onto them.
Oversharing: Inappropriate comments about personal life or sex life can blur boundaries, putting emotional strain on the child.
Criticism of Relationships: Saying things like “You should break up with them” without valid reasons shows an overstepping of boundaries.
Harsh Insults: Statements like “You’re so dumb sometimes!” can be disguised as jokes but are often emotionally abusive.
Dismissive Apologies: Phrases like “I’m sorry you feel that way” deflect responsibility, making you feel unheard.
Emotional Manipulation: Comments such as “I sacrificed everything for you” are designed to make you feel indebted or guilty.
