Surrogacy Journey: Independent vs. Agency—Costs, Benefits, and Key Considerations

4 minutes

Surrogacy is a path to parenthood that most people don’t picture themselves taking when they dream of starting a family. If you’re exploring this route, chances are you’ve already been through emotional highs and lows. Perhaps you’ve faced heartbreak after trying to conceive or are coming to terms with the fact that carrying your own child isn’t an option. These are heavy feelings to carry, and they can feel even heavier when embarking on an independent surrogacy journey without the guidance of an agency.

Independent surrogacy offers two major draws: it can save money and give you more control over the process. But let’s be real—if this is your first time navigating surrogacy, there’s a steep learning curve. From coordinating all the logistics to making countless decisions, an independent journey lacks the buffer of a middleman to guide the process, provide you with all the important information and resources, smooth over miscommunications, and tackle bumps in the road.

That said, independent surrogacy can also be incredibly empowering. With the right preparation, support, and mindset, you can successfully navigate this process. The key is staying organized, resilient, and prepared—emotionally and logistically—for each step along the way.

For Intended Parents

Choosing surrogacy means facing a whirlwind of emotions: excitement, anxiety, grief, and maybe even guilt. It’s completely normal to grieve the loss of carrying your child, and these feelings might resurface during major milestones—like the embryo transfer, pregnancy updates, or delivery day.

In an independent journey, you are the primary communicator with your gestational carrier (GC). Processing grief or anxiety can sometimes create misunderstandings. For example, if you’re feeling cautious or distant because of a previous loss you suffered, your GC might interpret your silence as a lack of enthusiasm or being upset with her. When going independent, it’s important to be upfront about your emotions and be clear about inconsistency in your reactions and communication with your GC.

For Gestational Carriers

The emotional ride isn’t one-sided. GCs face their own challenges: balancing their family’s needs while pregnant, managing expectations from the IPs, and handling potential hiccups along the way. Without an agency acting as a go-between, a GC must advocate for herself, understand what is appropriate to ask for, be informed about her rights, and ensure she doesn’t feel taken advantage of or agree to something she might regret due to a lack of information.

Financial Commitments in Independent Surrogacy

Many people choose independent surrogacy for its cost-saving benefits, though in most cases, the primary savings come from not paying the agency fee—which can still make a significant difference. In some instances, you may also save on the gestational carrier’s base pay if she’s accepting a lower amount or doing it altruistically (such as in the case sometimes with a family member). On average, an independent surrogacy journey typically costs between $100,000 and $150,000.

Typical Costs to Anticipate

Fertility Treatment for IPs: Fertility treatments account for a significant portion of the overall expense:

• Egg Retrieval & Embryo Creation: Laboratory fees, genetic testing, and medications.

• Embryo Testing, Freezing, and Storage

• Embryo Transfers: Each attempt costs between $4,000–$8,000, depending on medications and procedures.
  

Medical Expenses for the GC: Your gestational carrier’s medical costs, especially early on, can add up:

• Medical Clearance: Screening tests, ultrasounds, and other required procedures.

• Embryo Transfer Appointments: Includes pre-transfer medications and monitoring, often weeks in advance.

• Monitoring Appointments: Ongoing ultrasounds and bloodwork through the first trimester.

• Pregnancy Insurance: If the GC’s health insurance doesn’t cover surrogacy, you’ll need a supplemental plan, which can range from $12,000–$30,000.

• Life Insurance for the GC: Typically, $500–$1,500. 

Professional Fees: This includes all the third parties that are required to be involved.

Psychological Evaluations:

• Individual evaluations for the GC and her partner (if applicable).

• Joint session for the IPs and the GC

• Cost: $1,000–$1,500 total.

Legal Fees:

• Contract Drafting and Review: Each party needs separate legal representation.

• Parentage Establishment: Filing pre-birth orders or post-birth legal steps.

• Cost: $8,000–$15,000 total.

Escrow Account:

• Typically, at the time of signing, the escrow account needs to be funded with at least the GC’s base compensation (e.g., $40,000–$60,000) plus a buffer (usually around $10,000) for unforeseen expenses.

• The management of the escrow account usually costs between $1,000 and $3,000.

Incidental Costs (Varies but should be planned for)

• Travel Expenses (if the GC is non-local):

  • Flights, hotels, and transportation for clinic visits and transfers.

  • Meals and companion expenses (if the GC requires one).

• GC Reimbursements and Incidentals:

  • Lost Wages: Compensation for missed work due to medical appointments or complications, including coverage for her partner’s lost wages if they need to miss work for related appointments.

  • Maternity Clothes: Stipend, typically $500–$1,000.

  • Childcare & Housekeeping: For appointments or bed rest.

  • Monthly Allowance: A set amount for miscellaneous expenses.

  • Mental Health Benefits: Therapy sessions or support groups for the GC.

Preparing for the Unexpected: Surrogacy journeys often exceed the initial budget due to factors such as:

• Multiple Embryo Transfers: Costs can increase significantly if the first transfer isn’t successful.

• Medical Complications: Unexpected expenses for issues like extended bed rest or a cesarean delivery.

• Twin Pregnancy: Additional costs associated with carrying multiples, including higher medical risks and increased reimbursements.

• Breast Milk Supply: If you request the GC to pump postpartum, this can add to the expenses.

• Insurance Gaps: Unexpected exclusions or limitations in the GC’s health insurance plan that require supplemental coverage.

Closing Thoughts: Independent Surrogacy vs. Agency

You’ll hear a lot of opinions about whether to go independent or work with an agency for your surrogacy journey, but ultimately, it’s a deeply personal decision with its own pros and cons. For some, going independent might feel like the only option—whether due to financial strain from the fertility process or because they’re naturally organized and want full control. For others, choosing an agency makes sense for the added support and guidance through a complex and sometimes overwhelming process.

There’s no right or wrong answer. What matters most is that you (and your partner if applicable) choose the path that feels right for you after doing your research and considering all factors involved. In the end, the goal is for all parties to feel supported and for the journey to be a positive one—culminating in the birth of a healthy baby to fulfill your family dreams.